Log in


Beauty finds itself at the bottom, and is everything but itself.

About Recent Entries

Ignoring homework. Apr. 15th, 2013 @ 10:20 pm
I guess the song would be Making Days Longer by RJD2.

Read the last couple journal entries from an old LJ friend. Can't believe it's been five years.
Time flies so quickly.

I am still irresponsible.
I blew my ankle out skating yesterday.

I am the biggest disappointment.

I am cranky when waking up from naps.
I quit best buy after 8.5 years.

i don't know what the future holds.

Update.. Jan. 26th, 2013 @ 09:26 am
Wife and Puppy.
Happy, found some good peace with life.

Hope to come back and tell the stories.

Nov. 30th, 2011 @ 10:11 am
A lot to talk about.

Apr. 18th, 2010 @ 10:10 pm
I'm so fucking lonely i don't even know how to write about it anymore.

Apr. 12th, 2010 @ 02:52 am
Ive got some things to talk about before tomorrow morning.. let's see if i get them down before I leave for SLC.
Other entries
» Oh glorious as all hell.
-->That one's all me folks.

So there's a girl I hang out with. She's cute, funny....

and i'll strike to the detail.
We have fun, we hang out...

We talk about all sorts of things,
she tells me the tangle of boys she's in,
how she wants her life uncomplicated.

and I know that she likes me... but damn me if she never gives me a sign to go for it.
So we sit and chat and have a good time. I want to snap the tension with my teeth.

-We'll i'm frustrated and i'll leave it at that.
that means things are going well though.
» (No Subject)
P.S. I am happy most days and actually in a really good mood.
I just only want to write when things are bothering me.
Girls have been absent for some time...

so I wanted to write about it.
I'm generally doing really well
and thinking about blading all day.

» I've been wasting all my time... with the devil in the details....

Facebook suggests Jeannette M. Kiser as a friend.
Facebook suggests Heather as a friend....
Facebook suggests Angeline as a friend....

and yet the british girl blew me off.

Don't know how I fucked that up.

I sent her two messages... got a cryptic response and that's the last I heard.

So it's been a bit of a train ride in my head.
Work is stressful right now.
It's so weird not having Russ to call about work.

so I go back to the retreat of my own mind.

I was driving away from a job today thinking.
I wish people wouldn't think of me and think of computers.

I've spent so much time pouring myself into my skating,
and... it doesn't matter if someone knows you can fix their computer.

Can you dial up a friend and say.. "Hey Rick, I heard you knew how to just match people up perfectly and put life the way it needs to be.. Mind taking care of that tonight?"

I'm a bit bitter and jaded these days and I really can't put a finger on it.
I moved again.

I was living with Tyler, but Tyler couldn't respect my ONE rule that I didn't want to have
Adam in my home. So I gave him one strike. The second time it happened... I moved out.

I live at Eli's house with Erik and Mike.
It's working pretty well.

The other night Mike had his friend Batty over, and Batty brought a girl over named Pip.
Well... Pip and I hit it off pretty well, and I am pretty sure that Batty liked her too.
We ended up closing the neurolux, and everyone headed back to my house. We were all up till 5 am in the morning. She ended up crashing on the floor next to me.

I felt like a million bucks.

Next day she text me a few times and that was it.
I'm just crushed because she seemed to really like me for the nerdy me.

I guess I want to say that it's best to not let them (women) have their way with me.

I wanted that one for me... whether is was for a night, or for a day.
I've stared at my fucking phone for two days.
Fearing that if I text her... I'll come off as pursuing...

so I got bored writing and text her.

Fuck it.
One last flare into the night.

Black text... white background..
-Bring some sleep to this night.
» Working in computers... I see this plausible...
From the slashdot.org
comment at the link location of:

"There is a long history here that needs to be taken into consideration... We are seeing a paradigm shift in our government that is long overdue. It used to be that the government had to protect paper documents, "eyes only", and the biggest threat were photocopiers and miniature cameras... not any more.

I wrote about this transformation many years ago. Is it any wonder why the NSA is being brought up and groomed to help protect the critical information assets that the United States has?

From my post:

Human Intelligence, CIA
Signal Intelligence, NSA

The English have been masters at the spy trade for centuries. In WWII, the United States felt that it should get into the act and turned to the English for guidance.

With their tutelage, the CIA became a formidable tool against the Soviet threat throughout the cold war. We had clearly defined enemies with clearly defined borders. Gathering intelligence became a methodical science... then, once the Soviet Union collapsed, the clearly defined enemies with clearly defined borders went with it.

The growth of the internet created an atmosphere wherein information and 'intelligence' became a commodity. Then the emergence of an enemy that is not only difficult, if not impossible, to clearly define but who also operates entirely without borders. The polar opposite from what the CIA were trained to do.

Not only has this rule-set reset turned the CIA upside-down, it has rendered it all but useless. The UK isn't doing much better either. The problem is that western society itself is at odds with the rules required to make an effective spy agency. Our open government(s), free access to information, laws against spying on citizens and so forth are what both protect our civil liberties as well as create the environment in which our enemies can plot against us.

The CIA knew about al Qaeda operators operating in the USA prior to 9/11, yet did nothing to notify the FBI. This is because of the opposing nature of each agency. The CIA finds a criminal and wants to string them along to see what intelligence they can uncover by monitoring them. When the FBI finds a criminal, they want to string them up. From the CIA perspective, the FBI sure knows how to screw up an investigation and destroy your intelligence network.

The CIA is now dysfunctional to the point of uselessness. In fact, there isn't a single effective spy agency in the western world. The current battle we're fighting and the enemy we face is one that cannot be defeated by military might, it is a war that MUST be fought using intelligence.

So, the administration turned to the only other agency with experience in gathering and monitoring enemies. It also happens that this agency is experts at SigInt, as opposed to the HumInt. The problem is that the NSA is forbidden by law from spying on American Citizens, UNLESS they are monitoring overseas communications. This exception has always been allowed, no warrant necessary. There is no law that states that I have the constitutional right to conspire with enemies overseas.

No other nation even comes close to the SigInt capabilities of the NSA...

It is imperative that the NSA get on top of this nations information security. A staggering number of government agencies are still not even behind firewalls! There is so much bureaucratic stagnation that nothing meaningful has been done to secure this nations governmental infrastructure.

Finally, they are putting an agency in charge that actually *knows* something about security. I applaud this effort wholeheartedly.


Joel Helgeson"
» Writer's Block: My Favorite Movie Quote
What’s your favorite movie quote of all time?

"Meet me in Montauk."

Kinda sums up my heart and feelings about things. Tonight I went with Tyler to Kolby's to brew some beer. It was a pretty good time. There are a couple cute girls here, and it makes for decent eye candy. Work is work, and I left my car keys at a customer's house, and of course, none of them were polite enough to call and say that they had found keys or anything. I tore apart my entire house and put it back together looking for my keys. No luck.

I Was A Cloud premiered, and is spreading like wild.
You can even see people talking about it on the main page for www.themgoods.com

I'm in that movie. *Smiles* I'm in that movie.

I'm in a blade video with Erik Bill and Erik Bailey.
seems larger than life.

Okay okay, pop the swell of a big head and discuss what else is going on. Family is going pretty well, I went goose hunting with my father. That was pretty fun. Hang out with my sister occasionally, and love on my niece. That's a good time.

No love or ladies in my life. Pretty lonely in that department, but I keep to myself and keep moving through my days. Keep my chin up, keep the facebook wandering over my eyes.

Keep thinking someone will wander into me and find me irresistible.

Find the curse to be that those you love will never love you, and that those that love you; you will never love.

That's fine. I pour myself into work and play and enjoy a little more of everything else day by day by line drawn through the end of another day.

Wish whoever still exists in this graveyard a good and hearty hug, and may the night hold wisdom and comfort.
Top of Page Powered by LiveJournal.com